The battle of the sexes

The gender debate is a hot topic in Kenya. According to the media, the modern Kenyan women are bossing the men around, which is certainly not to the satisfaction of the lads. Relationship issues are important subjects of discussion. The most popular radio stations in Nairobi, like Classic 105, all host talk shows that air the views of the audience. One topic that led to a frantic debate, was the question “Can a woman earn more than her man?” Many Kenyan men seemed to have trouble to accept this, as did many women by the way.

The Saturday edition of The Daily Nation, one of Kenya’s leading newspapers, is another entertaining source of information on the level of emancipation in the country. One of the supplements is filled with ‘modern’ advice regarding relationships. Is the Kenyan man troubled by the too emancipated and demanding attitude of the modern Kenyan lady? Why does not he look for the perfect marriage material abroad! According to the Saturday Nation, Tanzanian and Ugandan women are usually far more traditional then their Kenyan counterparts: they still know how to treat their husbands like kings. Does the Kenyan woman feel that after years of dating it is finally time to embark into a real commitment? The newspaper provides all kinds of tips how to lure the potential groom into marriage, including the classic advice to become pregnant.

Apart from the media the battle of the sexes can be witnessed in many places. Like in Kibera, the biggest slum area of Nairobi, said to be the largest even on the whole African continent. A slum bursting with energy, much more genuine and raw than many other areas of the city, giving you the sensation to have finally arrived in the heart of the real Africa.

The workshop in Kibera is dedicated to peace building. But put a group of adolescent men and women into one room and one can almost taste the testosterone. Their survivor’s instinct leads the male chauvinists to constantly challenge the ladies. A challenge deliberately created by the lads, threatened as they instinctively feel by the intelligence and eloquence of the women present. And in the heat of the battle, they even shamelessly declare that women are inferior to men, “because she was made out of my rib”.

And what turns out to be the core of the debate? The question “Who is doing the laundry!” Not surprisingly though, because doing the laundry can without doubt be labelled as the most severe duty in the household. All laundry is done by hand in cold water, washing powder therefore needs to be extra powerful, which means one has to rinse numerous times. A heavy task, left to the women by most men without any hesitation or second thought. Thus for the women, the laundry proves to be the hottest dispute in the household. And even in this workshop, they launch the debate with intense energy.

But as always, theory does not coincide with reality. Much to my surprise, the lady who takes the lead in the debate, off the record reluctantly admits that yes, even she takes care of all her husband’s laundry. “But actually I do not mind doing it.”