What is their secret?

It has been almost two months since my arrival, a period sometimes filled with amazement and surprise. Over six weeks in Kenya, captured in a handful of arbitrary questions, in arbitrary order.

1. Why is a toilet seat never tightly fit and always moving, if there is a toilet seat at all?
2. Why can the portrait of President Kibaki be found hanging in most buildings, not only in the governmental ones, but also in hotels, restaurants and shops, but is it never hanging straight?
3. Why are the sheets on the beds this thin, in such a way that the mattress is always shining through?
4. Why do the locals scrub and mop their floors centimetre by centimetre on their knees, while scrub brushes and mops with handles are widely available and actually not that expensive?
5. Why are the locals’ shoes always tiptop shining as if they have just been polished, whereas my shoes seem to have attracted all the African dust and mud within five steps outside?
6. Why do Kenyans hang their laundry soaking wet, yet their clothes seem never to lose their model?
7. Why are there traffic lights on the major intersections in Nairobi, when everybody is ignoring them on a large scale?
8. Why does bread fall into pieces and crumbs after only one day, giving you a hard time trying to make a sandwich?
9. Why is President Kibaki referred to always by his last name and Prime Minister Raila mostly by his first name?
10. Why does carbonic disappear out of the cola within no time, even when you screw the top to the bottle very tightly?
11. Why do Kenyans exclaim “Excuse me!” when they have to sneeze?
12. How do the ladies manage to balance their way on the unpaved streets and through the potholes, rocks, mud and dust, while wearing the highest heels and the most fragile, elegant sandals?
13. Why is every toilet sealed with a padlock, even the most smelly pit latrine in the middle of nowhere?
14. Why do all cookies taste stale, even when you have just opened the package?
15. Why is almost the whole country heading for church on Sunday morning?
16. Why are public displays of affection not done, except for the park (and bars)?
17. How come at the most odd hours (like on Sunday family day) men can be found alone in bars, sitting all by themselves, solely kept company by their beers?
18. Why is beef by far the cheapest meat?
19. Why are virtually all streets in downtown Nairobi declared a no smoking zone, while at the same time you almost choke in the diesel fumes?
20. Why are there strict rules for littering in public places like parks, with huge penalties backing them, but most people do leave these places fully littered nevertheless?
21. Why is the bar always hidden behind a gate of heavy bars?
22. Why are most rooms in houses and offices lit by a single bulb only, preferably one of 100 Watt?
23. Why did nobody call me “Hey mzungu!” all this time?
24. Why is even watching football fun in this place?
25. How come everything smells, tastes, sounds and feels much more intense here?